No, give me any of the Boeing 737 series. I particularly favor the PMDG and FeelThere birds. And, Kevin Sparkhul through SkyDecks has done a very nice NG cockpit that I like to use with the 50 North Boeing series. I understand Kittyhawk has done a really nice job on some of the Boeings, but hey, I've gotta draw the line somewhere, no?

There's just something, I don't know, that's so darn ... fulfilling when I've entered information correctly into the FMC, lovingly sweet-talked the MCP into following my commands, no matter how inane they appear to be. I've even gotten bold in my old age, and will on occasion (when not encumbered by any of my ubiquitous pharmaceuticals, which is to say almost never) click off the autopilot (got a button for that on my Saitek joystick - way cool) at minimums and flare the bird all by myself. Now, that's satisfaction! And no, I don't wanna hear from any of you guys questioning my manhood for not hand flying from at least the final approach fix! At least I'll hand fly the beast on departure until crossing about 10K. Took me a while to muster up the courage to do that, but it is a blast doing it, isn't it?

So, it's Boeing. And, I confess, Airbus. Black and white, these two birds. Actually, it was Airbus that kept me going and away from the Dreaded FSRut for a couple of weeks. I can't tell you how long I labored, in years past, trying to figure out how to fly those damn birds. My problem then was I was still on the cusp of wrapping my head around the Boeing procedures, and I just wasn't ready to adapt to an entirely new set of rules. But, practice makes, if not perfection, at least a passable mediocrity that keeps one sufficiently motivated to keep trying, despite enraged promises to the contrary.

But, as often happens, we find ourselves wondering not so much where to fly, but what to take along the way. As I said, I adore the iron. Give me Guppies or give me Airbus! Somehow not as poignant as "Give me liberty or give me death", but uttering a sentiment such as this may on occasion lead to some idiot to taking you seriously and fulfilling your wish, and that would certainly ruin one's day, to say nothing of one's clothing.

Having found my mind wandering during approach in one of my favorite birds, it finally hit me: I'm in an FSRut. Somehow, I've managed to become sufficiently comfy with my irons. Now, don't start yelling about introducing failures and whatnot. Sure, that'd keep things interesting, not unlike hearing the bus driver yell "Oh My God, Grab Something!" At our age, that is excitement we can do without, thank you very much. Ingesting a seagull while departing from KJFK with a resultant flameout may be fun for some, but I tend to side with the seagull, and surely don't need the angst of a single engine climb and return to the airport. Hell, if I'd wanted that, I'd have gone to flight school and done it right! Then I could have experienced the thrill of rapid deceleration when closing the throttles at V1! Man, that's living! Puh-lease. I get worked up every time I put a steak on the grill, concerned the tank will crap out on me before I'm done cooking. Excitement beyond that may just well be fatal! So no, I prefer my Flight Simulation pristine, with no surprises and nothing left on the tarmac after pushback.

General Aviation. Yeech! Well, just maybe if it has a pressurized cabin, it's OK. And maybe at least two turboprops. Anything that sounds like a Volkswagen when you start it is right out. So great was the depth of my FSRut, that I found myself doing a cruise of my favorite sites in an effort to find myself a bird or two that would be sufficiently complex to keep my little hands and mind occupied for a while, until I finally could find joy in the iron again. Much to my surprise, I found two birds that have caught my fancy.

Eaglesoft has put together a delightful little aircraft called the Colombia 400. Granted, it is a single engine GA bug masher, but after seeing the screen shots, I just couldn't help myself. From the inside, it looks like a Lexus with wings. You can almost smell the "fine Corinthian leather." I figured if I'm gonna bop around the skies in General Aviation fashion, I may as well do it with style. Plus, there's lots of other stuff to its favor, but to me it really had a different look and feel to it, so showing my usual degree of restraint, I bought it.

My next discovery happened at the Aerosoft web site. Here, they have this spiffy little bird called the Piper Cheyenne. Now, this is something I would have ordinarily passed by, what with my carefully hidden predilection for the iron birds. But this time, I was on a mission to find the quintessential GA aircraft for the iron lover. This may or may not be it, but at the time it was more than close enough and with my customarily (if not legendary) degree of restraint, I bought it.

A nice bird. Lots of buttons to play with, including a very nice overhead and a couple of systems that need attention, such as cabin pressure. Apparently it is very poor form to fly above twelve thousand and leave a window open. Picky picky...

The last thing I did was revisit the RealityXP site, and renewed my acquaintance with an old friend, the Garmin 530. I figure if I'm going to be forced to fly without the FMC, I may as well replace it with something equally as frustrating to learn! I did have some installation issues, but managed to work them out and other than having to come up with some shorter flight plans, I'm really enjoying this General Aviation stuff. For one thing, I'm finally coming to appreciate all the scenery that I've accumulated over the years in FS2004. For another, it really is different than commercial flying. Change is good!

Friends, once The Boss finds the MasterCard bill for this month, well let's just say that it's been a pleasure speaking with you all! Now, in all fairness, she is a wonderful woman who tolerates this hobby of mine with tenderness and understanding. She is my best friend, my soul mate and as natural a Mom and now Grandma as I've ever known.

(Gee, I hope that worked!)

Three Green!

Chip Barber
rfbarber2@verizon.net